You're a womanizer and a bitch.
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Randomize
