thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
Randomize
