I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
Randomize
