I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
Randomize
