literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
The convent might be a nice break from real life
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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