I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
Randomize
