I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
True but thats because hes a fetus.
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Randomize