It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
