Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
Randomize
