I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Randomize
