it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize
