I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
