I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Randomize
