New low: just hacked my moms facebook
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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