Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Randomize