he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
There are leaves in my underwear?
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