is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
