You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
