The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
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