Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
Randomize
