I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
Randomize
