It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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