I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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