I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
Randomize
