You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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