my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
Randomize