I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
thus making me awesome and them whores
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
