Is it normal to miss your booty call?
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
Randomize