I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
Randomize
