I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize