i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
we're chasing vodka with high fives
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
Randomize
