Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
I just spread your mom's ashes with my new girlfriend. I wouldve waited for you to fly home but she was uncomfortable in the house with her remains there. I'll mail you the urn since u handpainted it.
YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND ALREADY!?! WTF WE JUST HAD HER FUNERAL 3 WEEKS AGO!!!!!!!!!!!!
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
You had me at "let me see your balls"
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
Randomize
