why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
