he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
Randomize
