I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
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