She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
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