I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
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