Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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