he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
I need to sanitize my soul.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize