Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
Randomize
