So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Randomize
