dude i'm inner monologue high
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Randomize
