yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Randomize
