I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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