I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Randomize
