Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
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