We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
Randomize
