I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Randomize
