The maid of honor just puked.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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