I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
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