Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
Pooping to opera.
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