I wanna bring you to show and tell
I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Randomize
