i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
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