so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
