You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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