Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
