so explain again why im purple
no
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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