dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
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