I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
i just sent this text using only my big toe
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize
