he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Randomize
