Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
