My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
