Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize