i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
