WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
Little spoons don't ask big questions
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
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