so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
In other news, I just burned my penis
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize