Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
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