dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Randomize