it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
