yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
this just has baby written all over it
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
did i walk over a car last night?
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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