Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
this is an emotional support booty call
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
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