So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
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