I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
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