i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
