you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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