Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
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