Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Randomize
